Last Sane Man Standing - Blog of Corey Deitz

"Dreaming of a Green Christmas"

November 8, 2007

You know it's only a matter of time before some special interest group comes out and announces that if you really cared about the environment, you'd NOT turn on your Christmas lights this year.

Just think of the wasted electricity.

And, not only do you want to KILL a live tree for your morbid celebration BUT you want to string energy-sucking icicle lights around your house and turn them on for hours simply - because it's festive!?

You selfish bastard. We're docking you 50 carbon credits because you're such a narcissistic Christian. And you Jews: we've got your eyes on you, too. Better make damn sure those Menorah's hold candles and not real light bulbs - or else.

It's just a matter of time. That's why I'm going to call their bluff and eclipse this inevitable action. Announcing:

N.O.E.L which stands for: No Overly Excessive Lights

I'm the the founder and president and as such, I'm requesting all holiday lights not be turned on this year. Sure, it's fine to put them up as long as you keep your scummy little energy-sucking fingers off the ON switches.

Trust me: the holidays will be more fun if you are not destroying the earth's resources. Sorry kids: I know it's not as festive but can you just imagine how much all these lights add to global warming?

Do you really want the the polar caps to melt and all the polar bears to die just because you wanted to see some bubble lights on your ripped-from-the earth Christmas tree?

I thought so.

Happy Holidays everyone and thanks for making it a Green Christmas!