Last Sane Man Standing - Blog of Corey Deitz

"Wedding Photoshop Options"

August 14, 2007

I attended a family wedding over the weekend and the photographer picked to memorialize the event was an amiable Russian who spoke broken English by the name of Constantine. His partner and Russian wife was named "La-lu-lilda-lu-la...uh...ilda" or something like that.

They seemed very competent and extremely anal, making sure every possible pose by every possible family combination was achieved.

During this ordeal, somebody remarked just above her breath, "And don't forget to take 10 pounds off my face..."

She was kidding but a portrait photographer, any photographer, actually could make your face thinner with today's digital photography. It got me to thinking: why aren't there photoshop options for wedding photos?

The bride and groom could preserve that special day while injecting a sense of humor so that in 10, 20, or 30 years when it's time to review the album, those wedding photos would keep everyone rolling.

For instance:

How about a shot where the groom is feeding a smallmouth bass to his new bride instead of that first piece of wedding cake?

When the father of the bride dances with his daughter? Take out Dad and put in Optimus Prime.

Instead of throwing a bouquet, have a photo of the bride heaving a big ham at the bridesmaids!

That cheap uncle you know isn't going to give you shit - substitute some ass cheeks for his head.

And speaking of the bridesmaids, off with those dresses and on with the g-strings. Now that's a wedding party!

Photoshop options for weddings - an idea who's time is ripe.