The Last Sane Man Standing
- Corey Deitz
"It's just my own, stupid, damn opinion!"
My Better Half?
May 28, 2007
Today I woke up to warm kisses and hot breath.
No, it wasn't my wife: it was my dog.
This actually happens more than I'd like to discuss. My dachshund, Jenny, thinks I'm her boyfriend. She also thinks she's a person judging from the way she sleeps in our bed.
Oh, we've long moved from her sleeping at our feet on top of the covers. No, Jenny sleeps like a human, nestled in between our comforter and a sheet - in between my wife and I.
It's like having a baby except none of my kids ever licked themselves or peed outside. Well, they might have peed outside as Boy Scouts but, that's besides the point.
Jenny is 9 years old which makes her 63 in human years. So, not only does my dog think I'm her boyfriend but she also thinks I'm her boy-toy, too.
The humiliation never ends.
©2007 by Corey Deitz. May Not Be Reprinted Without Permission