Last Sane Man Standing - Blog of Corey Deitz

Five-Fingered Flesh Spam

Over the past couple of days, the topic of uninvited "waving" from oncoming drivers has come up. Jay, my partner, absolutely HATES people who wave to him for no good reason. He drives a Monte Carlo and swears he gets waved at by other Monte Carlo motorists.

Jay wants it to stop. As a matter of fact, he wants NO ONE to wave at him while driving. He wants to be left alone. Up until today, I thought it was just a friendly gesture when someone waved at you, especially out on two-lane country roads. Where I live - in rural Pulaski County - many drivers do just that. I thought it was just a nice acknowledgement - but I may have been wrong.

Being one who always tries to understand the other side of an argument, after some meditation, I have finally come to understand Jay's problem - even if he doesn't know why he feels that way.

Uninvited "waving" is nothing more than low-tech, five-fingered flesh spam. In the same way we all get those annoying and endless email messages promoting penis products and cheap stocks, uninvited five-fingered flesh spam also intrudes into your life and without your permission.

It does nothing more than distract you from driving carefully or from whatever you were daydreaming about or looking at.

Yes, it was an epiphany for me. Enough of this unsolicited friendliness! That's why I'm calling for an agency to monitor all this "waving" in the hopes that some sort of system can be set up so we can either "opt in" or "opt out" of five-fingered flesh spam in the future.